I was never a loud student. I didn't yell or scream or clap my hands and hit tables to get my voice heard. I'd watch class debates in amusement because they always seemed to end with an absurd amount of noise. Still, I admired those people. Because they were louder, they got their voices heard and their ideas credited to them. Meanwhile, any of my ideas or jokes or moments of wit either disappeared into the air or were mistaken for someone else's idea, joke, or moment of wit.
There are, of course, moments when I don't mind being the silent supporter. Sometimes it's best to know when to step out of the spotlight and into the shadows. Many people in the world do great things every day without the need for recognition. Is it selfish of me then, to be upset when someone else takes credit for something I've said or done? I guess it depends.
Most of the time I love being the "quiet one." While I still have a long way to go, I do my best to think through an argument rationally. I think it catches people off guard to see such a small girl speak to them with quiet calmness --that, and I tend to be mistaken as a 16-year old even though I'm approaching my 30s. This amazing balance of rational, calm, quiet confidence especially in high-stress situations or arguments is something I definitely wish to work towards in my future.
I recently came across a wonderful article by Susan Cain, which talks about a secret superpower many introverts possess:
There are, of course, moments when I don't mind being the silent supporter. Sometimes it's best to know when to step out of the spotlight and into the shadows. Many people in the world do great things every day without the need for recognition. Is it selfish of me then, to be upset when someone else takes credit for something I've said or done? I guess it depends.
Most of the time I love being the "quiet one." While I still have a long way to go, I do my best to think through an argument rationally. I think it catches people off guard to see such a small girl speak to them with quiet calmness --that, and I tend to be mistaken as a 16-year old even though I'm approaching my 30s. This amazing balance of rational, calm, quiet confidence especially in high-stress situations or arguments is something I definitely wish to work towards in my future.
I recently came across a wonderful article by Susan Cain, which talks about a secret superpower many introverts possess:
"I have learned that introverts, thanks to their tendency to speak quietly and reasonably, to ask questions, and to listen to the answers, can make unusually strong negotiators. My introverted talents have helped in a range of tricky situations, from navigating mergers for corporate clients to convincing my kids to eat their broccoli.
"And striking deals isn't the only thing introverts do well. Some of our most transformative leaders have been shy or introverted: Abraham Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks. All of them were more focused on their causes than on their egos."
-- Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
I love this article because it looks at things from another person's perspective while still considering so much on the author's feelings and experiences as she tells her story. Cain, accused of trying to cheat her way onto a train, refrains from lashing out defensively at the conductor. Instead she thinks through the situation, asks questions, and solves the problem all without needing to raise her voice once.
It's an incredible talent that I wish to have one day. Getting defensive and angry is so debilitating and incredibly inefficient yet for so many of us it seems to be the default reaction when we feel cornered.
Being soft-spoken doesn't make you weak or your argument any less valid. Quite the opposite! It shows others you're thinking and not trying to undermine them. It requires no insults, no psychological manipulation (e.g. guilt tripping someone), and suffers no backlash.
Quiet strength is becoming dangerously scarce. While no one denies that the Alpha Dog approach can be useful in many situations, we mustn't undervalue the softer, quieter aspects that have been characteristic of so many successful writers, composers, and world leaders.
