My CUMback!

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I'm going to document my feelings as I slip back into a regular camming schedule! It's been a couple of years, so I have a lot to process!

Why I didn't go to MFC Social #7...but Vegas, here I cum!

Oct 23, 2022, 2:51 PM

Hey pervs!

I hope you've been well! It's getting chillier...cozier...creamier! Mmmm!

So, I didn't go to the Social! It was a hard choice to make, but I felt that my resources and energy would be better spent on finishing painting my living/dining/camming rooms!

And you know what? That shit was worth it. ^o^

I finally got some help from my lovely mother, and painted it all up during the week of the Social! Of course I popped in to watch some of the lovely ladies who attended, and I'm so happy that they had fun!

So, yeah! I really did have intentions to go and make it happen- it just didn't feel perfect. And as of right now...my painted walls feel VERY perfect!! Ahhh!!!!

Here's some Before and Afters of the rooms! I fucking love how interior design livens up a worn in space! The first room wasn't atrocious by any means, but it's easy to see now how a lil TLC makes a world of difference.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

I just have the floor left to complete in here! I think it's pretty cool that many of you watched the transformation in real time.

Btw: don't you love how my Mexican pulsates out of my veins and into the world? Aside from doing an A+ paint job, the bright colors in here are common colors in Mexico. I grew up seeing the brightest painted lil shacks, with magical colorful interiors decorated with indigenous art, simple family relics (like seashells, handmade wooden furniture), and The Virgin Mary every corner you turned!
My relatives even had a mini war going, where they couldn't agree on the color to paint my grandparents' tombstone. So every few months, the tombstone is a different color depending on which uncle got to it first. <3

It's really cute, especially since Dia de los Muertos is coming up & we're all celebrating our ancestors' memories with festivities. I even got some Muertos themed balloons to celebrate "Halloween"! I know that my Great Grandma who passed last year is proud to have her own altar, and she's thrilled that I'm decorating! It makes me proud to know that my current reality is something she aimed for herself when she immigrated from Central Mexico.The only difference is that she had 12 kids....but her legacy lives on in the independence she passed onto to us.

^ I promise that the mention of death for us is with fondness, and I don't want anyone to think there's sadness behind these last paragraphs. This season is just pretty fucking festive and I want to share my perspective for all the lovely White/Black/Asian Guys who give me money xD
*Edit from 2023!
*My mother pointed out that last part may make my Latin viewers feel left out...definitely not my intention! I figure you guys already understand that my words are filled with happiness. You guys know more than anyone how important our abuelitas are to us, and what an honor it is to make her proud in Heaven. <3
& yes there's a TINY bit of sadness...but I know damn well that if she knows that she will HAUNT me for being 'WEAK' (she's a badass). She'd yell at me "WHY ARE YOU CRYING, do you know what it's like to start over in a new country after your husband died?! Clean your house instead of feeling sorry for yourself"
I LOVE HER. :')

All that being said, I hope you'll visit my cozy little home during this beautiful season via my chatroom. I have so many pumpkins calling for Your name on them!

So, moving on to the EXCITING part!!

I GOT A ROOM FOR AVN 2023!!!!

AHHHHHH!!!!

And it's ALL thanks to my Highest Tipper, Brian!

Thank you so much, Brian. I already told you, you already heard me shriek with delight!
Isn't that lovely? It used to be in fear! Hehehehe.

Really, I was NOT expecting that at all. I was just cumplaining to him how my measly 200 tokens weren't counted towards the goal in an error! As more rooms were claimed, I started my period and couldn't cam...I thought "Okay you know what? I have been to every AVN since I began sex work. I can get my own place if they get filled up. Don't be hard on yourself, there's literally a Top 100 Camgirl list and 100 rooms available, you're just returning, and they've never offered rooms for AVN. You are FINE and it's okay to let it go."

Well FUCK me, right?? ^_~

Brian, you rocked my fucking world...you British Sadist, You.

I wake up EVERY day so happy that you blessed me with such a thoughtful gift.

You're also cemented into the Eevee Hall of Fame as Highest Tipper of ALL time!!

Really though, you know that my appreciation for You goes beyond a monetary value. I was a bird in a gilded cage, singing to be free. You not only opened the door, you also left seeds out so I wouldn't starve. <3

To celebrate, here's some pics from previous AVNs!

2017

2018

This one makes me a lil emotional because you can see the bandage on my wrist from earlier that month when I was hospitalized for depression.

2019

2020

2020 was interesting because I was recovering from anorexia, so I felt like my face and tummy were so bloated. It was also the only AVN where I was sober, and that was interesting! It was pretty nice actually.

That's pretty much it! It's been nearly 3 years since the last in person AVN.

I have to be honest. AVN is a shitshow. I don't know anyone who actually enjoys after the first time. The memories are awesome. Traveling is fun. But the CONVENTION. UGH. Chaos chaos chaos!

I have a feeling this is going to be the BEST AVN yet though!!!

Thank you SO much for following this journey. I'm excited to see what pictures come out in 2023!!!

xoxo,

Eevee <3

September 2022 ReCap/ Social 7 Goal REACHED/ WHY it means so much!

Sep 30, 2022, 1:46 PM

PLZ wake me up in October, I need a day of sleeping in to process this whole month!

First, let me start off by thanking everyone who's participated in my chat room this month!

Especially the tippers! ^_^

Okay, soooo:

WHAT A MONTH!

That's it. That's the whole post. *bdum dssst*

Well, August was supposed to be my official cum back month. I GUESS it still is.

I cammed two days in August...then had to turn in my laptop to get one of the usb-c ports fixed (the one that charges AND allows me to plug in my cam and external mic).
I didn't turn off Find My Mac properly...so a 1 week fix turned into a 2 week one.

And then.

Upon returning, I saw that the race to MFC Social #7 had started literally 2 days after I had last cammed & turned in my laptop.

Well, if there's any reason to dive deep, it's to get the the MFC Pool with the other camgirls!

Look, what I'm trying to get at is FUCKING THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

I made the MFC Social 7 goal as a "Well fuck it, let's see what happens!"

Guys! We reached it!

I'm on the waitlist for a room right now...which is alright by Me! I was on the waitlist last time I got a room too. (:

Regardless of getting a room or not....dudes we MADE the GOAL.

THANK YOU for the tips while streaming, including the video sales that started adding up!

Let's be real here...yes?

I mentioned in my last post that I had to euthanize my Ladybird in 2020.

Well, after she was gone, I stopped paying her pet healthcare plan I had her on (She was at least 11 when she showed up to my backyard when living in Compton, she needed monthly attention as a stray who had shown up already hit by a car).

Since then, I've been in collection for the remainder because it was always the last "credit" I had to pay down. I mean...I had no dog anymore. I figured they could wait a lil.

I focused on paying down other credit lines I had, and finally I've been trying to focus on this specific charge. The thing is though...it's a collection, so they want me to pay in full.

ANYWAYS:

Pretty much, the 10,000 tkns goal is enough to go towards that collection this cumming October (tomorrow!)!!

So YEAH, I'm really really happy that we had that goal in mind because I'm not sure I would have tried so hard, so soon.

The fact that I can pay down that balance in full means the fucking world to me.

Remember, this is MY FIRST MONTH back camming (consistently!).
That's what blows my fucking mind and makes tears well up in my eyes.
I wasn't expecting to rid myself of this looming debt this early on into throwing myself back into it.

Thank YOU, tippers!!

This is exactly why I want to make this blog post.

You definitely helped me achieve my frivolous cam girl dream of going to Vegas for fun times.

But on a much deeper level, you're helping me to find my stability again, after falling off from tumultuous life events.

Rambling about my thoughts here...

It's NOT easy for a Latina to grow up in Los Angeles.

Aside from the obvious shortcomings...so many Latinas here live at home with their parents into their 30s (unless they try to live with a lover, as I did lmao) in this city. Yes, even the college educated Latinas who aren't 21st Century Wh*res. It's hard for them too.

From my experience, we're not really encouraged to seek out TOO much independence because our parents are very happy to have us at home (we tend to clean and help)

So, paying off this debt feels like...freedom.

See, I had raised my credit score into the 700's. I have Good credit. This collection? Apparently takes 40% of my score. So paying it off will be SO satisfying.

A Latina in Los Angeles with PERFECT credit?? Watch out!! Here cums trouble!!

For those wondering, "What's race got to do with anything"? EVERYTHING! You love Me, Eevee, because of either my ~spicy~ personality, my ~golden~ skin, or my dark ass Frida Kahlo-esque bush!!

Meanwhile, once I'm off cam, those same things hold much less "value" in this city of stars.

And that's the thing. There's absolutely value in those traits...and I wouldn't understand that without camming.

More so, those valuable traits are translating to real world improvements.

I grew up not wanting to be Mexican, not wanting to tan because I thought I was only pretty when fair skinned, and of course I had to shave my entire body every single day just to "fit in". To feel worthy of positive attention.

And here I am today...offering you all those traits that turn you on...and it's also making an enormous impact in my life.

I guess this is more than the Social, and more than Perfect Credit (ugh, not trying to flex LOL)...it's about being able to be Myself. Speak with My accent, in My body, in My truth.

It's being able to paint my house's trim a bright ass fucking pink because 1. I want to and 2. It looks so cool on cam.

It's being able to share my silly dancing to my favorite songs..instead of feeling shy and self conscious about why they're stuck in my head. Who cares?? Make a dance!! Sing the lyrics wrong!! It's my house!! I don't mind!

Dear Reader: I'm on a weird ass fucking adventure.

I mean, I have been since before starting camming. However, camming is an outlet to what I can only describe as INTENSE EMOTIONS!!!!!

I'm sorry for the messages I missed.

May these blog posts show that offline, I'm a woman with a rough background who's trying to heal from so many things, while also trying to pursue a genuine passion.

You all met me when I was 20 years old. I'm willing to bet that you all saw something in Me that even I didn't at that time.

Am I typing out these long paragraphs to the void, probably showcasing the personality that people have repeatedly told me is "Too Much"?

Hell yeah!!

LOL, yes. Yeah.

But fuck it dudes. You've seen Me literally mature into a grown ass adult before your very eyes.

And I WOULD NOT embrace the things I rejected if I didn't know in the back of my mind (Hmm, I make money off this, life is cool.)

Homeboys. I've been through so many moves, colleges, jobs, lovers. Every experience shaped me. I forget who I am on The journey.

Except when I see Myself standing in My room, surrounded by colors, sounds, art, pictures, etc that I love.

That's when I start remembering, I'm going home.

& Home is where I CAM from!! ^o^

SO.

WHAT A MONTH.

To the familiar and new usernames alike, It's VERY nice to meet You!

Let's have fun together!!

I like you so much already ^^ if you can't tell!

Let's make the most of the fact that you can tune in directly to someone living in a city across the globe from you! (Or in your city if you're already here)

Let's exist together!!

Ahhhh!!!

^_^

Thanks again, seriously and wholeheartedly.

xoxo,

Eevee

Where have I (EroticEevee) been?

Sep 29, 2022, 3:16 PM

Hey babez!

Wow!

Where do I even start??

Okay, well: the last time I was camming consistently, was March of 2020. That was a magical time. I had just won a room at the upcumming MFC Social #4 (with your help of course!!).
I was participating in TIP WARS (lil Eevee couldn't EVER imagine that!), and I had ended the month just a few spots shy of top 1000!! Can you believe all that? I barely could! I'm still grateful to this day!

Well, everything went to fucking shit next month when things closed down (necessary, yes!), which meant MY folks were home all the time now!

Suddenly, camming felt a lil' awkward!

So many things went down. I had to euthanize my LadyBird. My great grandma passed.

And at the end of those grieving periods...I'm suddenly the most alone I've ever been.

No, not in a bad way! In a way that means I can cam whenever I want, however I want, where ever I want! How's that for a twist?

Okay, that's all and good, but what about before 2020?

Okay. I wanted to cam so bad. In fact, I had saved specifically to move out, to cam more!

I won't go into TOO many details because that past has passed...

But to put it simply: I moved into a fixer upper...and it was very embarrassing to constantly have people asking why there was a giant crack running through half the room. (Yes, the jokes write themselves in a room like that, but I wasn't laughing!!)

So, I started working at a BDSM dungeon because I wanted to move AGAIN, but couldn't work how I was used to.

I got really cozy at that dungeon! Sanctuary Studios LAX. In fact, I cammed there in 2020 a handful of times (I also have content I made there! Go find it on my Share!) I was a Professional Submissive, and then a Professional Switch!

It got me through what I can only describe as, the lowest I had ever succumbed.

My Dear Reader,

I was so close to losing a 10 year battle with depression.

I believe in 2018 alone, I was admitted to the psych ward 2, maybe 3 times. (The first time was the most memorable, but that was back in 2011 loooool, they blend together after that)

It's all good though! I am a fighter! One of the last times was my voluntary admittance, meaning I was REALLY trying to hold on.

And hold on I DID.

Fuck, dudes. FUCK.

Pretty much....2018-2019...I fell to my lowest weight of 108 lbs. It was hard to eat. I was in an environment where my bony body was encouraged. Where my ideas to gain more were discouraged. I had some people comment that I had lost weight...but my partner at the time said I was fine. So in my mind...I was.
I was self medicating with alcohol, a cope I had picked up in 2010...leading up to that first ever ward visit.
Basically, I was a borderline alcoholic anorexic...without knowing. I was really far down my depression. I didn't know how I was hurting my body in ways I hadn't meant to.

Really, no one knew. I hid it well enough.

I thought I was okay. At least, I thought I had no reason to complain.

My life was theoretically "perfect". All I ever really wanted was a King Size bed...and I got it.
Would you believe that a King Size makes you feel extra lonely when you're sharing it with someone who's not right for you? Duh. Right?

I was living in a house that was fancier than the one I had moved away from (Not saying much...it was in Compton but it had a heater, AC, and no holes in the walls or in the floors apart from that crack). I was gifted a BMW (2001...which is funny looking back but I REALLY loved that car. I had a few chances to trade in and I didn't).

I'm not ready to talk about THIS side of my life yet...but I felt extremely "middle class" in comparison to my upbringing. Yeah, AC and heating in Compton, CA is my idea of middle class. What does that say about Me? I'll tell you when I'm done processing and overcoming it!

ANYWAYS, Honestly, I was trapped. I had had two abortions (2014 & 2015), but I was still trapped.
I wasn't allowed to pay rent...being "taken care" of....and then I was always "kicked out" during arguments...in the same breathe being told that my parents don't want me back home.
Yes, the person "taking care of" and "kicking me out" would discourage me from seeking my family's help when I was trying my hardest to take those orders to leave seriously.

I don't like going into all those little details, but I really want to clarify that by 2019, I was broken. In my mind, my parents didn't want me. No one wanted me. I sure as fuck didn't, who even was I? If anything, I was Lucky to even be on Earth anymore.

It wasn't until I genuinely asked God for help, that he brought my Lady Bird to Me.

Lady Bird was the main reason I moved back in with my parents. She seemed happier around them, instead of at our (then) house.

2019...was a wild ride. I shaved my hair off for my birthday, a metamorphosis.

Soon after, I left that situation.

It wasn't as simple as it's written. I left that situation...and I found myself in the midst of losing everything.

I lost the friends I had up to that year. It's interesting. The moment I needed them more than ever...was the moment they were more than happy to ghost me. I'm talking, people who told me I was their "best friend" and that I "made them believe in God" with my personality...were suddenly aware that I am a human with struggles of my own...and they didn't want to be associated with it when it slipped out those last months of 2019.

That part actually really broke me.

I felt like...if I wasn't ~Happy Eevee with a smile on her face and her body skinny as can be~...I was no one and nothing at all.

Wanna know what's worse? After being ghosted those last months, I tried getting closure at AVN 2020...just for that "friend" to tell everyone I was aggressive and who knows what else.
For asking if we could talk about it.
No, I didn't raise my voice or get physical.
Imagine? I'd have been kicked out of the private Doja Cat MFC concert we were at if that was anywhere near being true.
No, I left it alone after being snapped at (quite aggressively, I may add).

^
That last part is just a lil cam girl drama. I actually have no interest in airing information like that...but I found out that same person STILL brings me up at her own parties as of 2022! LOL.

Correct me if I'm wrong...but if parties are supposed to be fun...and I'm the topic of conversation repeatedly...then I'm STILL the life of the party all these years later. ^_~

Well, that's validating enough for Me!

I'm so glad our mutual cam girl friend informed Me of that, unless she's lying. <3

Damn, what even is this blog?

It's REAL. That's what THIS is.

HELLO WORLD, MY FREE CAMS, and BEYOND.

I am EROTIC EEVEE ^_^ <3

I AM BACK.

I've been to rock bottom over and over again- and you know what? I made a home of these Rocky Mountains. Peak, fall off, peak, fall off, peak, fall off...and then SHAKE to create even more peaks!

I have no problem being THIS corny because I am vegan & eat corn up. nomnomnom.

I'm so fucking tired of hiding who I am & who I WAS.

I'm finally ready to seriously cam, and LIVE how I've always wanted to.

But my comment about peaking applies more to life. (Which I'm blogging about here since I'm too lazy to figure out my Tumblr log in lol)

Everyone is commenting on how happy I seem- and it's because I am.

I'm genuinely so happy to be alive, and to be where I am.

I'm happy I didn't die.

I'm happy after the heart breaks that I spent so long trying to patch up away from view of My cam.

I'm happy to be single after the trauma of wasting away for another human's validation.

I'm happy to have been protected by the rejection of someone who uses the mental anguish I went through as a funny lil conversation at their parties.

This blog will matter to whoever it matters to.

It matters to Me regardless.

Sep 2022 Eevee is different from Sep 2019 Eevee...and yet I reflect back on 2019 Eevee with so much fondness and love because I wouldn't be Me without Her strength.

SO:

Where was I? Hell.

Where am I now? Heaven.

Where am I going? Fucking NO WHERE, it's time to have fun!!

This blog may be messy and all over the place- but you guys have witnessed me at SO many different points in my life. I could lie and say I was busy, or I can be straight up and give an honest account of what's been holding me away...as well as the plain nastiness I experienced from the cammunity.

I'm camming now for Me.

(& for YOU, Dear Reader! )

May the past stay in the past, and may this blog bring closure to the wounds that nearly drained my life and soul.

Peace out to the people I vaguely blogged about. You may have had the chance to run my name through the mud to your personal audience who knows my identity in full...but actions speak louder than words.

God, blessed as He be, has allowed me to forgive. I don't talk about you at parties. Or at all. Only to process momentary pain...but other than that, there's so many more fun things to talk about in this beautiful world. I hope that one day, you'll be so excited about your own identity that you won't have to use anyone else' to have a good time.

At least now, the gossip that spreads can lead back to my side. No pun intended.

Okay bye everyone! Thanks for reading! It feels SO good to get that off my chest. Pun intended. ^_~

xoxo,

Eevee <3

Recent Activity

Why I didn't go to MFC Social #7...but Vegas, here I cum!

September 2022 ReCap/ Social 7 Goal REACHED/ WHY it means so much!

Where have I (EroticEevee) been?

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