So the hardship I face right now is that I need to be back on my medications but my insurance hasn't started yet thru my new job, so all I can do is try to keep myself from entering a depressive phase before I can go to my psychiatrist again. It helps when I can keep my stress to a minimum if possible. I haven't slept well in over a week and it seemed to be the recent events I've experienced in the past month contributing to insomnia, but I just now realized its because I'm hypomanic and didn't even realize it. I've been up all night blogging and reflecting and listening to music and don't feel tired or sleepy. I guess I will go ahead and stay awake til I crash again, maybe friday night or saturday morning, but Ive been awake as long as 5 days while going into manic cycles. This isnt fun at all being up for days and not be able to go anywhere due to being quarantine.Â
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Side note: I went off my meds completely about 3 years ago because it got me down every morning when I start my day off with 7 different prescription meds per day!! Daily reminder of how mentally ill I am, so I stopped all of them. Yeah makes no sense, I know, but thats how we with Bipolar think and do. I've taken them again here and there the past few months since i had a lot of meds stockpiled in the years I hadn't taken the pills, but was still picking up the prescriptions each month when they would auto-refill them. I would pick and choose what all meds I felt like taking and when I'd actually take them. (I'm the most stubborn AF person on Earth! Lol) The only meds i take now are my seizure pills but need the antipsychotics and the mood stabilizers to go with it to bring me to a normal baseline mood again.
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Side note: I went off my meds completely about 3 years ago because it got me down every morning when I start my day off with 7 different prescription meds per day!! Daily reminder of how mentally ill I am, so I stopped all of them. Yeah makes no sense, I know, but thats how we with Bipolar think and do. I've taken them again here and there the past few months since i had a lot of meds stockpiled in the years I hadn't taken the pills, but was still picking up the prescriptions each month when they would auto-refill them. I would pick and choose what all meds I felt like taking and when I'd actually take them. (I'm the most stubborn AF person on Earth! Lol) The only meds i take now are my seizure pills but need the antipsychotics and the mood stabilizers to go with it to bring me to a normal baseline mood again.
