Week ago I felt like the walls of my house are pressing me. so I went to the tea house, to change background, drink some tea and read a book.
I was so fascinated that I read half of book. It is about codependency of people, relations etc
I found out that codepency is a common thing for people who had alcoholics in family. Such people becomes coalcoholics. This is not the first time I've heard this term.
After broke up with my last ex... I felt very bad. It was a hard time for me. But I didn't want to dive into depression so I tried to get myself out of there. I found nice book, the title is "Woman who loves too hard". This book saved me. I realized that woman's addiction of love, of men can be the same strong as an alcoholic's addiction.
Human that have an alcohol addiction is unpredictable. All the family members who is in a close connection with an alcoholic, becomes coalcoholics. This experience is very traumatic. Especially for children. They grow up with their traumas and often becomes an alcoholics too. They often choose problematic people with addictions because of their codependency. That's why they can't be in a happy relations. They don't seek for normal relations. They need passion. Fire. Problems. Mostly because they are bored. They got used that the most loving and warm relations wich were the most closest in their life was fucked up. So now such relations is normal for them.
When codepenced people grows up, they often trying to save addicted people. Because they kinda didn't complete their mission (ofcourse it's actually wasn't their mission) of saving their family member. But a child with his childish egocentrism are sure that the whole world is spinning around him. And that he can change everything. For example, influence parents and save their marriage. They truly belives that. So when they grows up they seek for partner with addictions wich is in need of their help. The one they can save. Such people getting used to take responsibility for other people. They can work too hard or just tries to help everyone, giving advice when nobody asked for it etc He tries to be useful and needful everywhere and save everyone. And he ecspect to get the same from people. But people are different as we know. When people not match his expectations, he starts to feel bad. He can't understand why I do so much for other people and don't receive the same back.
I was so fascinated that I read half of book. It is about codependency of people, relations etc
I found out that codepency is a common thing for people who had alcoholics in family. Such people becomes coalcoholics. This is not the first time I've heard this term.
After broke up with my last ex... I felt very bad. It was a hard time for me. But I didn't want to dive into depression so I tried to get myself out of there. I found nice book, the title is "Woman who loves too hard". This book saved me. I realized that woman's addiction of love, of men can be the same strong as an alcoholic's addiction.
Human that have an alcohol addiction is unpredictable. All the family members who is in a close connection with an alcoholic, becomes coalcoholics. This experience is very traumatic. Especially for children. They grow up with their traumas and often becomes an alcoholics too. They often choose problematic people with addictions because of their codependency. That's why they can't be in a happy relations. They don't seek for normal relations. They need passion. Fire. Problems. Mostly because they are bored. They got used that the most loving and warm relations wich were the most closest in their life was fucked up. So now such relations is normal for them.
When codepenced people grows up, they often trying to save addicted people. Because they kinda didn't complete their mission (ofcourse it's actually wasn't their mission) of saving their family member. But a child with his childish egocentrism are sure that the whole world is spinning around him. And that he can change everything. For example, influence parents and save their marriage. They truly belives that. So when they grows up they seek for partner with addictions wich is in need of their help. The one they can save. Such people getting used to take responsibility for other people. They can work too hard or just tries to help everyone, giving advice when nobody asked for it etc He tries to be useful and needful everywhere and save everyone. And he ecspect to get the same from people. But people are different as we know. When people not match his expectations, he starts to feel bad. He can't understand why I do so much for other people and don't receive the same back.
