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Hello friend! Welcome to my share page. I hope this going to make us closer to each other and we both will enjoy this experience

Recent Activity

Just dance.This week was full of dance shows..
Album • 3 days ago
A really hot naked striptease :3
Album • 3 days ago
Upskirt dance
Album • 3 days ago
you wanted some yoga?here it is
Album • 3 days ago
Drooling ahegao
Album • 3 days ago
naked body tour
Album • 3 days ago
body tourrrrr
Album • 3 days ago
Belly Dance
Album • 3 days ago
Offline tips or happy things
Tip Menu • 5 days ago
One of many naughty evenings
Album • 1 week ago
my first shorts here
Album • 1 week ago
Washing and playing with myself in bath..
Album • 1 week ago
Femdom/cuckold
Tip Menu • 1 week ago
For Food Fetish Guys(my cooking skills)
Album • 1 week ago
Sensual Essential Naked Yoga from me
Album • 2 weeks ago
My lovense menu
Tip Menu • 2 weeks ago
Bonus nite nite naked yoga:)
Album • 2 weeks ago
very special way of teasing
Album • 1 month ago
If you ever wanted to have a morning with me
Album • 1 month ago
After shower
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cold sea
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grey sweater and racing t-shirt
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elevator, zebra and magic headphones
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new year story (LF custom)
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tied up boy (custom
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Bella's blog
Sharing my thoughts here

Book I read

Week ago I felt like the walls of my house are pressing me. so I went to the tea house, to change background, drink some tea and read a book.
I was so fascinated that I read half of book. It is about codependency of people, relations etc
 I found out that codepency is a common thing for people who had alcoholics in family. Such people becomes coalcoholics. This is not the first time I've heard this term. 
After broke up with my last ex... I felt very bad. It was a hard time for me. But I didn't want to dive into depression so I tried to get myself out of there. I found nice book, the title is "Woman who loves too hard". This book saved me. I realized that woman's addiction of love, of men can be the same strong as an alcoholic's addiction.
 Human that have an alcohol addiction is unpredictable. All the family members who is in a close connection with an alcoholic, becomes coalcoholics. This experience is very traumatic. Especially for children. They grow up with their traumas and often becomes an alcoholics too. They often choose problematic people with addictions because of their codependency. That's why they can't be in a happy relations. They don't seek for normal relations. They need passion. Fire. Problems. Mostly because they are bored. They got used that the most loving and warm relations wich were the most closest in their life was fucked up. So now such relations is normal for them. 
 When codepenced people grows up, they often trying to save addicted people. Because they kinda didn't complete their mission  (ofcourse it's actually wasn't their mission) of saving their family member. But a child with his childish egocentrism are sure that the whole world is spinning around him. And that he can change everything. For example, influence parents and save their marriage. They truly belives that. So when they grows up they seek for partner with addictions wich is in need of their help. The one they can save. Such people getting used to take responsibility for other people. They can work too hard or just tries to help everyone, giving advice when nobody asked for it etc He tries to be useful and needful everywhere and save everyone. And he ecspect to get the same from people. But people are different as we know. When people not match his expectations, he starts to feel bad. He can't understand why I do so much for other people and don't receive the same back. 

Courage and kindness

Some people are too used to their home and leaving it requires a lot of courage. I don’t think of myself as such, but I have such periods. It can be very difficult to go out and show myself to the world. Honestly, many women don’t like me simply because I’m beautiful and I don’t hide it. I suppose they think that if I’m like this, I should be embarrassed or not emphasize it. But why the fuck, excuse me? I have one life and one youth. I love my body and face, why should I hide it? In 20 years, maybe (I hope not) I’ll want to hide it myself. I often notice envy in women’s eyes. A mocking, unkind look. I used to be confused. Like " Oh noooo, whyyyy? I haven’t done anything. Now, I just start smiling and look her in the eyes. Kindness and courage. I'm sure, this two things will make me happy. Openess to the world.

was in a movie recently. "substance"

The film tells about an adult woman. She makes aerobics videos for TV and in general her life is quite successful. But she is not so young for this job anymore and people around her hint about it in every possible way. Suddenly she finds a magic serum that can help her become young again, but not in a very easy way.
 Many women, especially those who earn money by working on camera, have a fear of aging. This film described their emotions very well. I am still far from there, but now I have some ideas of ​​what may await me in the future lol 
 In fact, this is problems of mentally unhealthy people who need help of a specialist. These people have not accepted themselves in the present, they live either in the past, when they are young, or in the future, when they are old. As a result, they live their lives with the feeling that they have achieved nothing, because they did not notice everything that happened to them. I liked the film for its plot, but I would not watch it a second time :) There's a lot of disgusting moments in it. 

Silence of the lambs

I read this book very quickly because it drew me in. I really like characters like the main one. Strong women. I always compare them to myself. 
And I like Hannibal. I liked him a long time ago, when I watched the movie. He impress me with his sharp mind, manners, high level of education and intelligence. He is not just some kind of cannibal monster tearing people apart ... of course there were some moments, but this was self-defense lol I like his exquisite taste and manner of speech. A real cannibal aesthete :) I give the lambs 8 out of 10 and recommend it to everyone who loves a high quality thriller.

Rome

Rome greeted me very warmly and I easily got to the hotel from the airport. I don't know why, but I was afraid that there would be problems with this. Thanks to google maps! I got there on some bus. At first, I was very afraid that my things would be stolen, so I held my phone and bag tightly to my chest :) People around were looking at me sideways. Some danger is certainly exists, but of course this is not a reason for paranoia... but I realized this over time :)
I arrived in the city, check-in was in an hour and a half, so I went to a cafe, and there, almost by accident, I charmed one waiter. I think he was from India or Turkey... I received compliments from the staff as a bonus.
After checking into the hotel, I went to the city. For a walk. That day I walked 40k steps. On the very first day I saw the Coliseum and many other attractions, the names of which I can’t remember now. I lived in the city center, near the train station. All the attractions are within walking distance, and you move to them through pretty beautiful streets. There are many inexpensive hotels here, which are very suitable for tourists like me, who have arrived for a short time.
At the second day I woke up quite early, ate deliciously, walked around, went to a museum. I thought that I would visit several museums, but this one was very big. Then I went to a cafe, sat enjoying Roman coffee and looking at some cool tower. Later I will return to Rome with a much larger stock of knowledge and will understand what I am looking at, but for now, I am just admiring the architecture :) Everything in this moment was perfect. Coffee, landscape, thoughts, mood. Later I ate a very tasty pizza. Then I visited local shops. For the evening I booked a table at a local restaurant and had a very good dinner there. The food was top notch. As you may have guessed, I ate quite a lot that day :)
On the third day, I was in the Vatican and saw a lot of things. There are a lot of museums and ancient statues. At the evening I met a guy from Ukraine and we drank a bottle of wine together. We had a long and pleasant conversation. Then I went to the hotel and in the morning I flew back :)
The most important thing that happened to me there was a request that I had. To get something from this trip. Not just impressions, but something more. And I acquired a desire to learn more about the history of the world in which I live :) Actually, I am going to start doing this in the near future. So I give the third day a huge like too!

Introvert

Years of self-knowledge have led me to the idea that I am an introvert. But that doesn't mean I don't want to communicate with anyone. I realized that my internal battery drains much faster when other people around. It's completely different for extroverts. Their battery charging. In my opinion, this is a very important realization. Now I understand that when I spend a lot of time with people, I don't feel good. Not because people are bad, or I'm bad, or something is wrong. It's just that I am that kind of person.

Hair

Our hair accumulates energy. That is why many girls, after breaking up with a partner, cut their hair short. I can’t analyze all the facts now, but if you google it, you will soon understand that this is true. This is not esotericism or fiction. Our hair is like a cat’s whiskers.
I was cutting my hair short every year because I wasted myself on different people or on things that I didn’t really need. I didn’t take responsibility for my life. At all. I lived like some kind of amoeba. Were just flowing with the waves. At the moment, I am beginning my journey on a conscious path and accepting responsibility for my reality.
At the same time, I have a goal - to grow my hair long. I think it is very cool and beautiful. A woman’s hair has a lot of power in it. It can both fill with energy and cleanse.
For example, if a girl with long hair goes to a club and while there waves her hair left and right, she will then come home and bring this energy with her.
Why do people go to clubs? Only a couple percent do it to dance, relax, etc. Usually they go there out of grief. To find someone for sex or to drink very heavily and give themselves to the dance floor. The girl brings this energy home in her hair.
The advice in this case is simple, put your hair in a bun in public places, such as transport, where there are a lot of people.
Perhaps this sounds stupid or funny or delusional, but I will tell you honestly, I feel it. I hope that in the near future there will be no reason to cut my hair short :) Although I already had the thought, in fact... And by the way, every year, precisely after such words, I do it...
ahahaha wait :)
okay, no.
I still want to grow them up. After all, getting a haircut will be much faster than growing them. I will always have time for it ;)

I have decided to leave psychotherapy for now

I have been used to considering myself super adult all my life, from an early age :) I have always treated myself as an adult and had quite high requirements on myself. The same goes for psychotherapy, I treated myself as a super adult who has a basis on which to work. But in reality, I am only 18 years old.
Later, I will return to psychotherapy when I am ready. More precisely, when I understand that my body is ready for it.

Plus, I live a little inappropriately according to my values, I will also need to work on this. I earn not a bad money and spend almost all of it every month, on God knows what. But in fact, I would like to travel, try to do something new, some hobbies, something interesting...
Considering how much I would like to change, I realized that I will not be able to combine two therapies. So I'll leave one for now.
For me, as a person who has been used to trying to understand, analyze, and get to the bottom of everything all my life, I need to finally relax and just enjoy. This is what body practices will teach me. Let go and enjoy your experience and what you have. Understand where you want to go and enjoy the process of this path.
When I truly reveal my personality in myself and it blossoms, there will already be a more stable ground for returning to psychotherapy.
I said goodbye to my therapist, she basically supported me in this decision and said that it is really hard to handle psychotherapy at 18.
I need more about sensuality, sensations, energies. That's how it is :)

Body practices

All the traumas always remain in our body. All the experiences we live through, everything remains in the body and it either opens us up or, on the contrary, closes us in.
It happens that you see someone and he doesn't look ugly, but he’s all twisted. This is because he’s very tense. He has a lot of different clamps that makes his life worse.
The essence of body practices is to find your clamps. They are all responsible for some emotions, feelings. Having found the clamp, it is necessary to take it off by pressing. Feeling all this pain, in the process, you can say that you are being worked through.
I decided to leave my psychotherapist because it's not the best for me now. It aligns everyone under a certain norm. I believe that I don’t need to change myself, but to find a use for myself.

unpleasant situation

This morning I suddenly swallowed the ball of my tongue piercing. Had to call it back lol. That's what I call "Rise and shine" :)
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