This won't actually be short, but it's a much, much longer story and just the beginning. I keep a lot of stuff on discord if you're interested in a more in-depth blog:  DISCORD

So as the title says, my mom is a hoarder. She's close to the worst kind too, just shy of keeping her own waste. Most of her house is filled with trash, and everything that happens is someone else's fault. Yes, she's disabled and she can barely get around, but she also has a boyfriend/friend who is always there and is able-bodied. Things can get fixed, but instead she shops.

I didn't know how bad it was until the spring, when I told my mom I'd help take care of my sister while she was recovering from another hip surgery. When I actually saw the house, I totally broke down. There was cat and dog fecal matter and urine everywhere. Two of the cats were being kept locked in a room with a dirty litter box. I couldn't even breathe upstairs. My boyfriend had to run out of the house to breathe.

I had offered to help pay to have it cleaned but no one (I contacted 3 professionals) got back to me after I got photos of the interior and I don't have the kind of money it takes to fix a home like that anyway. On top of the hoarding there are foundation issues.  I managed to get a cat out and the dogs out before my mom got back home.

My boyfriend and I decided at that point to take my sister in permanently. It's been a really big change for me, so if you haven't seen me around, this is why. Like I said, there are a TON more details in my discord. There are a lot of other issues, including abuse and neglect but I'm gonna focus on the hoarding for this post. Including my sister being very sick for years and we found she has a stomach infection that is caused by unsanitary living conditions.

My mom has completely become delusional. She has always been irresponsible, but in this reality she's in, everything is someone else's fault. She even went as far as to try to blame my sister being sick on the brief stint of time my sister stayed with my aunt.

It's now months later, and she's gotten worse. Now that my sister is with me, she's sequestered herself to one room of her house, essentially, and moved a hot plate and mini fridge into her living room. I'm glad it hasn't been a really harsh winter because she can't afford to heat her house. I'm terrified it's going to burn down.

I saw her the other day and her health is failing badly. She didn't keep up on her exercises when she was on pain meds, and now she's not really able to exercise and get around because she's in so much pain. There are other issues that she is not dealing with as well.

Here is just ONE example of how ONE room looks, and they are all like this, just so you understand that I am not exaggerating. This is the room you see when you walk into the house. There are 4 big rooms not counting the kitchen downstairs and a laundry room. Upstairs there are 3 bedrooms, a non-functional bathroom and another main living room. All like this or worse:

She called me tonight from her boyfriend's phone (because she hasn't paid her phone bill) to tell me that the house she used to live in is for sale. She's been blaming all of her problems on the home she's living in, and she tried to convince me that if someone (me or my boyfriends) were to buy that house, she'd pay rent and there would be another tenant and if she could just move back there it would be 'perfect' and that is her 'home'. I had offered to help her get an apartment before and she flatly refused saying I couldn't 'afford it' but honestly I can't afford to pay her bills every month while she squanders money at the dollar store 50.00 at a time.

When she was in the other house, it was in really bad shape too. She acts like it isn't but I remember being able to barely stand it. She was hoarding clothes and food in the basement and there were hundreds of mice/mice fecal matter everywhere. Dead mice frequently in the stove. It was bad. She left that house a mess and she tries to say that she didn't. I thought things would change when she moved, but it got worse and worse.

It was her choice to move into a new home that she and her boyfriend got at auction. She blames him for essentially every problem she's had since moving in there, but it was literally her choice to leave. It was also her choice not to unpack or fix the problems she had with the house. This is the living room where there is now a hot plate and fridge. She couldn't get into her kitchen after the summer because of gnats and it's sectioned off with plastic for the cold now.

The same guy that owns this house owns the house that my grandmother lived in. It's the house that if I bought ANY house I'd buy. I have nightmares/dreams about it regularly and I think it's terrible that it was sold for a pittance after my grandmother put so much time and money into it.

Every day with her is a new kind of nightmare, so this is just this week's, not counting the ongoing stuff.

Anyway, I don't know who is reading this but hey, welcome to the show! I'll be camming a lot more and around more but scheduling can be tough. I'll try to make a comprehensive schedule when I'll be on, whether its for art or for adult stuff. I'll be at AVN in a couple weeks.

Thanks for checking out my blog. Sorry it's not sexy.