AlexaBlancOh
Snapchat Testimonial
Just a sampling of the many testimonials Alexa has received for her Snapchat. 
Regrettably we don't have room for them all. 😭
Please help spread the word!
Since subscribing, people keep their distance out of respect
5 Tokens
I have won 50% of all coin flips since signing up!
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Alexa's snap got me off the streets and turned my life around
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My GF left me and I am happier than ever
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Everyone says I'm more hilarious now and I owe it to Alexa
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I can parallel park like a champ now
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My morning runs feel easier
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My shower singing has improved dramatically
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I've been getting more of the deep REM sleep
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Coffee just tastes better since I signed up
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My masturbation skills have dramatically improved
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I have a deeper appreciation for dimples
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Everyone says my hair smells better!
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My cat is more affectionate now
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My handwriting is better
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I am reading more books and enjoying life
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My work productivity has skyrocketed
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My wiener got bigger
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The force has been with me
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I feel like a god among men
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I am able to control the weather
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My leprosy got better
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I no longer sneeze
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Women bow before me
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I sleep easier at night
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My insecurites have vanished
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I feel like a Disney princess now
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I have become fearless about wearing socks with sandals
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Been flossing ever since
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I started loving myself
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Gave me the guts to wear Crocs
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I'm no longer afraid
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My ankle stopped making that noise
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It healed my trauma and now I am helping others
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I became impervious to gluten!
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My spices are now alphabetized
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So powerful, I need a safe word
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Had to go up a condom size
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I celebrated with all new underwear
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People say I'm a better person now
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My ball gag tastes better
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I'm slightly less self-centered
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I'm surprised it's legal
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Had to switch to Big Penis Humiliation
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Made my rusty trombone shine like new
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Filled me with joy
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Helped me find Jesus
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Gave me the courage to go blonde
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Restored my interest in boners
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Makes me want to get pegged again
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There are no downsides to having more award-winning ass in your life
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My doctor recommended it
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It's helping me lose weight and keep it off
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I can feel it in my glutes
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I no longer resort to violence
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Chuck Norris now comes to me for protection
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I feel less stupid
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Astrology no longer determines my fate
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It got me tipping in public
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I always know who Ninja is now
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Gave me the ability to read hidden tip notes
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Made me less of an asshat
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3 words: wrinkle-free scrotum
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I now make shakshuka for my roommates every Saturday
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I no longer make mistakes
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Reduced my douchebaggery by 50%
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Gave me a bustle in my hedgerow
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Helped me understand the chorus of Boom Boom Pow
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Helps me write strongly worded letters
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It's for life bro
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Why would you not
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What could go wrong
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Helped me reach rock bottom and turn things around
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Gave me comfort after the arrest
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Helped me chillax while in prison
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I now appreciate gingers
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Helped me get busy living
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One word: wholesome!
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