The books are now open. Are you prepared to show your loyalty to capo dei capi? This club is a way for you to pledge yourself to the family — the merry bunch of miscreants that haunt my chat room. The family offers protection, but you know what happens if you end up being a rat… that cement block will make a lovely anklet. Associate: As an associate, you are attempting to showcase your value to the family by displaying traits of loyalty, competence, and fearlessness. Or, you may be a businessman or politician who is willing to dip his toes into our sordid deeds. You’re not a made man, and therefore, you do not have the protection that the organization offers. You do get a really cute room badge, though! Soldier: As a soldier, you’re afforded more protection than the associates. With that protection, though, comes responsibility. You’re above associates and you are the one who will get his hands dirty when it comes to debt collection. Don’t worry, this added danger means that you get three photosets of your choosing. Capo: Congratulations! You now have some considerable sway, as you’re in charge of your own crew and their success will line your own pockets. Your tasks are more sensitive in nature, reflecting your competency. Oh, and you get three videos of your choosing. Underboss: Don’t get too ahead of yourself, kid— I’m the one whispering the orders, and you will be making sure that each order is carried out in a covert manner. Still, in the event of my untimely demise, you will function as the head of the family… unless one of your inferiors isn’t happy about that, in which case you might end up popped. You’re loyal, though. You’ve shown that through and through. Because of this, you’re eligible to receive my video collection and three months of Colette du Mois. Consigliere: Think of this role as the HR of the mob, just with far more sex appeal because you’re involved in criminal activities. You’re the voice of reason, offering solutions in challenging situations. You’re the face of the organization, speaking to pesky government officials. You’re invaluable to the boss and the family as a whole. For your wisdom and charm, you will collect all photosets, videos, and six months of Colette du Mois.