It’s my birthday and I wanted to finally do a cake-sitting ✱✱✱✱✱! You should feel so lucky to get down there and worship this cakey-✱✱✱

You don’t deserve a taste. You don't even deserve to look. You’re paying for the privilege of watching me sit pretty on my cake. 🎂

You can stare at my ✱✱✱, feel completely inadequate, and send something to make my birthday a little more special. After all, what’s the point of being obsessed with me if you’re not going to prove it?