You need to admit that you have an addiction. You are completely addicted to watching porn, to stroking your cock. It's all you think about. You'll cancel plans to do it. You'll do whatever you have to to scratch that itch -- the constant, nagging feeling that you need to watch and jerk. It doesn't matter if you're at work, in public, somewhere where you might get caught. Sometimes you just need a taste. You have a compulsive need, it's like you're not even in control of your own brain and body. You are helpless to the power of your addiction. Admit your addiction and accept it, because it isn't going anywhere.