I noticed you've been extra squirmy lately, so I got something for you! It's a pillow! Mommy's too busy to play with you right now, so you'll have to hump this pillow beside my desk while I work. You know I can't take your cage off right now, sweetheart. You'll just have to do your best in your cage and diaper. Are the diaper and pillow too soft and squishy? Awww, that's too bad. Now try not to whine too loudly while I video chat with my coworker. You don't want them to hear you humping, do you?