I have a very important task for you today. You will be required to go out and purchase a box of magnum size condoms.. first time in your life, I know. The condoms will of course be a lie for you though, since we both know how small your dick really is, and also you won't be needing them for sex, just for this jerk off instruction task that I have you. Be prepared to do a LOT of jerking.
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