I think you need to fully understand how truly fucked you are already. Even if you feel like you haven't strayed that far from God yet, there's actually no going back. I read from Hebrews 6:4 which states, "It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying Jesus all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace." Since you were once a Christian and turned your back, now you can never have the Holy Spirit in you again. So, I would really get to trying to get on Satan's good side considering your soul is guaranteed to go to Hell now. I have you spit on the crucifix and jerk off, take your pleasure while we revel in this newfound realization of freedom.