Welcome to the Vore Hotel, please tell me your name. OK, I have you down for our special fast track guests, is that correct? You wanted to know about the hotel facilities? Well I don’t see why that matters to you but there’s a pool and a spa and a fantastic restaurant and that’s where you will be located… temporarily. You really should have come through the service entrance, as I am usually helping guests here at the front desk, not the food. Oh no, you’re not the guest, you’re the meal. You look confused. Not to worry, all will be sorted out soon I will be back to take your weight and measurements and then you can ‘get to work’. Now it’s time for you to join the kitchen staff for your final role. “Hello I have a new starter here at the front desk as they came through the wrong entrance, shall I send them through to you now? You don’t need anyone? Oh, I wonder why they’re here then. Are you sure you cant squeeze one more in? Our guests are always ravenous. No? Ok well I guess I will have to make use of them myself then, I’ve not had my break yet. Thanks Linda, bye.” Never mind, I think it’s their loss because you look extra tasty to me. You must eat well, and I appreciate a well fed meal. Gives you extra flavour. I hope you’re not too chewy, I really fancy a man who can melt in my mouth. Hold still, let me have a taste. Not bad, not bad. *lick fingers* I think I will eat all of you.