I've gotten some subpar tributes lately and I want to let you losers know I'm not impressed. Cheap, holiday candy is really how you think you'll win my heart over? Subs sent cheap suckers, chocolates, and those candy hearts expecting what exactly? It's pretty pathetic and I'm going to show you how I have fun destroying these gifts. I'll be compressing them under my shoes, reminding you of how priceless I am and how worthless these bullshit gifts are. They should be embarrased as each piece breaks apart and turns to dust. Shattering like their useless hearts and attempts at wooing me. Maybe they'll learn not to bore me and do something worthwhile. If you send me cheap, useless crud, I'll treat it like that. Because my favorite thing is destroying your dreams and smashing your heart.Â
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