It's finally feeling like California outside. The cold air accompanied with a low lingering sun takes me back to my wild youth. The leaves rustle in the cool breeze. Except instead of driving to a secluded part of the forest to drink 40 ounces of malt liquor with good for nothing boys I'm carrying my bright pink laundry basket down to the laundry room. I'm bored but I'm happy. I let the cold air hit my bare thighs and I smile remembering all the torn fishnets that used to decorate them. 

The sadness comes and goes with the wind when I remember I'm thousands of miles away. The urge to take off running to the shore almost over powers me every time. I catch my breath.
The craving to dance in the dark while the lights flash and the bass pounds awakening an animal inside of me. The world of instant gratification. The lust. I can almost feel it all over again. It's bubbling up my throat and I can't help but close my eyes and indulge in the memories for a moment longer.

And then I'm back here on the ground begrudgingly carrying this basket of boring yoga pants and tank tops to be cleaned.

I'm not boring, I remind myself. I'm just bored. There has always been this rebellious spirit residing in my body. Curious, fearless. 

I remember climbing out of my bedroom window, falling directly on my ass, putting the car in reverse and not turning it on until I was safely in the street as far from my house as possible. I was usually headed to a boys house. They'd text me meaningless messages through out the day and then finally I'd be buzzing with excitement on my way to them. I wanted to seduce them. I wanted to feel alive. The thrill of it all made me feel so high. It was all a game for me and with every conquest I grew better at it. They were all so beautiful and new to it all it was as powerful as I could imagine feeling. We'd make out desperately and awkwardly take our clothes off. We'd stimulate each other trying to figure it out and it was so much fun.

But here I am now, dreading the dishes in the sink. But I'm turned on now and I can't help but want to procrastinate. I settle into my bedside lifting my shirt to tweak my nipples.  I'm getting wetter and wetter and I wait until I can hardly stand it anymore and I pull out my trusty hitachi. I think about those reckless nights and I cum and cum again. 
I guess I'll go do the dishes now.